My boy had swimming lessons and decided that today, for some reason, would be the day he didn't want to go swimming. Now those of you have had any experience with children will know that when they decide they don't like something or don't want to do it, then you can be sure that it is not going to happen. This is what happened. We had a meltdown, so huge that the entire swimming centre zoned in on me with eyes that said "I'm so glad that's not my child doing that". The reality is though we have all had "that" child. If you haven't then you are either incredibly blessed or lying. I was angry, not so much at my boy but at the circumstance. I think it was more the accusing eyes (well in my mind they were accusing) than the scenario that was causing me my grief. I realised though that I had a choice in that moment. If I wanted to I could really let it get to me, yell at him and threaten him with a day of no privilegdes (which if I am being honest did run through my mind). Or I could talk to him calmly, tell him I would prefer it if he did do his lesson and let his little body work through the emotions with me as to why he was upset and didn't want to do his lesson today. Yes the second option takes longer and probably results in more screaming and tears but I honestly believe that if we allow our children the opportunity to explore their emotions safely then it will beneift them and their relationships in the future. It may also be the difference between a bad moment or a bad day.
So this morning I chose the latter. I'm glad I did as I discovered that my boy was actually scared of the new kid in his group and worried he was going to get left behind in the class. I realised that these meltdown's may have more substance to them than a child merely choosing not to do something because they can (although this is definitey not always the case!). So here's hoping that in the many more of these moments that come my way I have the strength and insight to do the same again...as i said, here's hoping! x
